Yesterday, at mile 2 of a scheduled 18 mile run, my body simply caved.
At a point in my run where three days earlier I had cruised, my legs were struggling, and my right hip and knee were acting like anything but stable joints. I had to stop, swallow my pride, and dial my wife to come pick me up. I simply couldn’t go any further. 2.2 miles in, I was finished.
My body has been telling me for a few weeks that something might be wrong, but I haven’t been listening. Until now. The LA Marathon is on March 17th and I keep telling myself that the pain I am feeling is just the usual pain associated with marathon training. If I just push through it, everything will be fine, just like the last time I ran the LA Marathon, 18 years ago. Some days are good, some days are bad. That’s just the way endurance training goes.
This past Tuesday’s 5 mile run was strained. Thursday’s 8 mile run was actually pretty good. I cruised through the miles ahead of my desired pace, but following the run my hips and back started screaming at me. They kept screaming, right up until the moment I started my 6 mile run on Saturday. And Saturday’s run was just painful. I fought through every stride. I really shouldn’t be surprised that my body finally said, “No more. Take a break.” So that’s what I’m going to do, give my legs a few days rest and let my body heal.
The pain in my joints is bad, but the bruise to my ego might end up being worse.
Nobody likes to fail to reach a goal, especially one they’ve made public, even if it’s one they’ve achieved before. And often it’s hard to know if a struggle you’re facing is a speed bump or a road block. I’m hoping this is just a speed bump. I wouldn’t want to have to explain to my children why the LA Marathon they’ve seen me training months for will no longer have their Dad as a participant. I’m not enjoying the prospects of that thought right now. But I’m increasingly convinced that shifting to a different exercise goal might be the right thing for my body. If missing this long run doesn’t let me heal fast enough, I may have to switch goals, even if it means my ego gets bruised in the process.
Yes, much to my dismay, evidence is mounting that I may need to pick a new mountain to climb, and a new lesson to teach my children. The one I wanted to teach them was about working hard toward a goal. Instead I may get to teach them the lesson about getting up after you fall. That one will not be as fun to teach, regardless of how important it might be.
I’m certain there are other lessons in here for me as well. I’ll save those for future posts.
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Photo: Creative Commons license via Flickr user VeggieFrog
Jeff – I discovered that increasing joint pain in my knees ws due to mis-alignment of my spine. A great chiropractor has been a god-send. If you haven’t, you might consukt a good chiro.
Mike, I do think my back is the cause and will be going to see a great chiropractor this week if I can get an appointment.
Sorry to hear that Jeff. I wish you a speedy recovery mate. Now about that next mountain … if it’s Kilimanjaro, I’ll join you.
After hearing a few friends’ stories of their trek up Kilimanjaro, I’d love to do that, but think I should wait till my kids are grown. 🙂
Oh Jeff, I so hear you and feel your pain. I had to abandon my training for my recent 1/2 last month at the 10 mile point. I had minor surgery and will hope to be back at training in 3 weeks. Who knows where It will take me but I agree, I may have to change up my routine. Best of luck and keep a good attitude and know you are not alone.
I’m going to try and run 4 miles tomorrow and see how everything feels. I’ve put a lot of work into this and don’t really want to see it go to waste. Sorry to hear about your surgery and hope your recovery goes exactly as planned!
I think it’s California. Your stars aren’t aligned right there. This wouldn’t be happening if you were back on the east coast 😉
And I wouldn’t have to ice.
No shame is doing what your body needs. Being able to play with your kids 3-5 years from now without pain beats running a marathon any day of the week.
Swimming. No impact.
The side-effect of this national jogging renaissance will be that orthopedic doctors are going to get even more rich.
I really wish I enjoyed swimming.
I was training for a marathon years ago and feeling great then BAM! severe pain in my foot which turned out to be a stress fracture. The biggest difficulty was over coming the frustration and anger and shear disbelief that I just couldn’t “run through the it” ! I had NO CONTROL, I don’t like that.(Control issue blog needed!) Still ticks me off to this day. But Jeff, the nurse in me is hoping you get an X-ray, radiating pain ( pain from hip to knee) is not always what you think and it may need a different type of rest or treatment. #justcaring
I will be heading to a doctor, Julie. 🙂 And what you’re expressing is what I’m feeling.
Hi Jeff, I attended your speak in Inmocionate in Madird in Summer 2012 and we talked afterwards about our kids and about the importance of being thankful to all we have 🙂
I can understand you perfectly, I have been doing sports all my life, all kind of sports, 1,5 years ago i broken my cross ligament of the left knee and 6 months later I broken as well the ligaments of my right knee. I had operated the left one but the knee is not as stable as it was before, the right one is not operaded but stable. I had to let the sports which make most fun as tenis or aikido and I changed my sports to swiming, scuba diving. My dream is to play tenis with my son who is now 8 years old and who loves to play tenis, I will work hard to strengthen my leg muscles so that I can play with my son.
Encourage! If you are not able to run a Marathon I am sure you will find another sport which can make you nearly as happy 🙂
Ramon, thank you. I love your goal. I am indeed thankful for all I have, as I know you are.
Jeff the reality is that we never fail when we take on a healthy lifestyle as an example for our children and the people who surround us. The goal should never be an event as much as those are great benchmarks and motivators they are just another day of our lives. The goal is to be the image we carry of ourselves in our own minds, to find a balance of working just beyond our limits then listening to our bodies. I have felt the rush of victory in many very challenging events and conditions but my biggest accomplishments have always been in pushing myself when nobody is around. I was just thinking after Banff how impressed I was with your desire to complete again after 18 years since your last race. I was impressed not because you were doing a one day race but because you had committed fitting the daily effort into an already amazing life as a father of 6, husband, and successful businessman. To me you are already winning by choosing to be a competitor in a world filled with spectators.
PS. When in doubt put on the Deere hat and “Run like a Deere” 🙂
“The goal should never be an event as much as those are great benchmarks and motivators they are just another day of our lives. The goal is to be the image we carry of ourselves in our own minds, to find a balance of working just beyond our limits then listening to our bodies.” Amen and thank you.
Secretly I have been training for a half marathon in DC that same weekend. So far I have done okay. I am slow as a snail, but trying to make it to the end. Finishing is my goal, not speed. I too have all of those aches and pains and have to be especially careful with my back. It is the first time in my life that I am training for a race. It is interesting to me that the goal of the race has kept me motivated to keep running and training, instead of quitting because of boredom in the past. It does tick me off that one day you feel like a million bucks and then a couple of days later you just can’t get in a rhythmI just think if you are in pain it is your body telling you something? The lesson for the kids is knowing limits and not letting your pride and ego get in the way of what is right for you. I think that is a bigger hurdle for more folks to acknowledge limitations than running 26.2 miles? Take care of yourself first, we all know you are Superman anyway. 🙂
I’m so proud of you! And I know Mike is too. I like the focus of a race as well, but I also know that the real discipline I need doesn’t rest in a specific day, it rests in fully recognizing the value of being truly active, and consistent in how I treat my body and what goes into it. Love you.
In the most memorable quote from an otherwise silly movie, Waterboy, “You can do it!”. If you can’t do it this time there’s no shame in that. Rest up and try again another time. There will always be another marathon or another challenge. Why not try a 1/2 marathon?
Brian, I know I can do it. 🙂 Thankfully, it’s not my first Marathon and I actually enjoy the half marathon distance way more than a Marathon. I’ll see how a run feels in the morning.
It’s often the journey rather than the destination.
I’d reframe the experience so you don’t see it a going to waste.
Ira
Agreed, Ira. I’m going to see how I feel tomorrow morning and give a short run a go. I won’t let it go to waste.
Well, you did a half marathon a few times, that counts for a lot, maybe even a marathon or two. Your strength and determination is far more inspirational than you think, and even more so now that you’ve decided to listen to your body and put your bruised ego aside:) You won’t be out for long.
Thanks, Laura. Like I’ve said, I’m going to try and run 4 or 5 miles tomorrow morning and see what happens… and go see a couple of doctors. 🙂
I know from experience….West Virginia legs are uneven, and cause great back and hip pain. The treatment is to go back home, and run there. Where everything evens out. 🙂
LMBO
If the pope can quit you can quit.
I ran across this post on a friend’s Facebook page. I don’t know you, but really do understand your agony. Not just the emotional, but the physical too. At 46, I decided to that my goal of running a 5k (never being a runner in the past…ever) had to be met. Last July, I started slow with the Couch to 5K program. After a few grueling weeks, I actually began to enjoy it. Unfortunately, the pain in my hip and back, that had been there since the beginning, got worse and worse on my post runs. Then they began to invade my runs. I finally got sick of the limping and went to see an orthopedic doc. A few tests later and the diagnosis was bursitis and snapping ilipsoasis. Wanting to get right back at my running, I went for the more aggressive orthoscopic choice, rather than months of physical therapy. Unfortunately, 2 1/2 months post op and I’m still in PT and told no running, jumping or impact activities. My dr says that running may not be something I can return to. He matter a factly stated “you can walk, swim, bike.” Although I am not a marathon runner like you, the crush I felt and still feel from not being able to fulfill that goal still brings tears to my eyes. With a father who is 69 and extremely athletic and a sister who is a marathon runner, it is even more disheartening that I can’t share a simple run with them. I am a bit in denial and am not admitting defeat quite yet, but there will come a time when I have to realign my goal…sadly there just doesn’t seem to be anything else to fill that wish of running across the finish line.
I envy you. You’ve enjoyed that feeling of completion. I hope you get answers to your pain and can run on! If this is an end to a running career, I will be watching your blog closely to get tips on how to “reframe your experience,” as Ira stated.