Food portions have been my nemesis my entire adult life. My partners at Tangilla used to call me “garbage guts.” If it was an option, I could and would eat until all the food was gone from any table—not just my plate but the entire table.
The children who used to sit nearest to me at our family dinners would protect their plates from my almost constant pilfering. If they got up from the table, they’d issue me as stern a warning as a child could, nearly begging me not to take their food. It didn’t matter. I’d always sneak something. It became something of a joke in our family. But it wasn’t very funny. It was a compulsion I was unable to control.
I now understand that these compulsions were deep-seated behavioral patterns rooted in early childhood traumas. This is not the time or place to expose those traumas, but they run deep. They left a hole I repeatedly tried to fill with food. The result? A battle with weight I’ve waged my entire adult life.
The 200 Pound Barrier
I’ve been tracking my weight off and on since February 21, 2010, with an app called Lose It. I’m sure I rounded down my starting weight of 220 lbs. It’s too perfect a number, and that “fudge” was part of my problem. I used the app religiously for a while to track calories, and it worked for a bit.
That was my go-to method of losing weight. I’d count every calorie I put in my mouth. And that was fine until a business trip would come along, and I’d fall off the wagon and either overeat or forget to count. And then I wouldn’t weigh myself for weeks, and I’d balloon back up from whatever weight I’d dropped to.
Nothing worked in the long term. I tried intermittent fasting for almost a year and was never able to keep the weight off. All that did was force more calories into a smaller daily time window.
I very briefly reached 183.4 lbs on October 30, 2014, but that lasted just a few weeks. I didn’t believe it was sustainable. By the end of April 2015, I had risen above 200 lbs again. In fact, for most of my adult life, I have hovered around or above the 215 lb mark. So, my internal goal was always to “just get below 200 lbs.”
I finally had to be honest. By any measure, 200 lbs is too much weight for my height, particularly for a man over 60. So is 190 lbs. Something had to change to achieve the results I wanted regarding my weight and health.
The Solution Came In Two Steps
I say my business partners “used to call me garbage guts” because that’s no longer true. The changes I began making in 2023 stayed with me throughout 2024, and they will continue in 2025 and, hopefully, for the rest of my life.
Step 1: Changing My Mind
The first step was simple and challenging: I changed my mind about my ideal weight. I stopped avoiding setting loftier goals because I feared failing once again. I began telling myself, “You should weigh 180 lbs.” And I started believing it.
The first semester of my freshman year of college was the last time I weighed 180 lbs. I graduated high school at 175 lbs, in the best shape of my life, but when an abundance of food became available at the college buffet, I ballooned quickly. And this began my roller coaster ride with weight that continued for 44 years.
Step 2: Changing My Portions
In August 2023, Rocky and I decided that restaurant food portions were too big. So, we decided to start splitting every meal. And there was a concrete and straightforward plan. She would pick every meal, and we’d split it right down the middle. No questions asked.
She is way pickier about food than I am. By that, I mean she almost naturally gravitates to healthier food options. I, on the other hand, will eat anything. And when it came to restaurants, if there was something on the menu that was a childhood memory, I couldn’t resist. So I’d always choose the chicken fried steak or the fried chicken and waffles over something more healthy. Then, I’d eat every bite, no matter how much was put in front of me, without fail.
Splitting food with her changed something in my brain. I began to see food portions differently. My appetite has just magically changed over time. Even when I eat alone, I split the plate in half, and I rarely finish a plate anymore.
We began splitting meals just before spending a month in Hawaii. I didn’t count calories during that trip. We ate great food, and we had a great time. We simply split every meal we ate out. That’s it. That’s all that changed.
When we returned from Hawaii in October 2023, I weighed 199 lbs. I briefly dipped below 180 lbs in October 2024, but I’ve been below 185 lbs for over five months. Today, I weigh 182.1 lbs, down 20.7 lbs from January 2, 2024.
And I’ve set a new goal: to sustain at 175 lbs. I will share the latest habit I believe is the key to that tomorrow.
A New Way Of Living
These changes aren’t about deprivation but creating a sustainable, healthy relationship with food. 2024 was a turning point year. I’m excited to see how these habits will shape my health in 2025 and beyond.
What changes are you making for your health this year?
Right after my heart attack, I had a couple of sessions with a very good nutritionist. She went over everything I ate (and drank—primarily WAY too many non-diet sodas.)
I told her pointedly, “If you tell me to never drink another Dr Pepper, I will fail. Ditto with no pasta, potatoes, or other magical carbs. Oh, and I love red meat.”
She said, “I wouldn’t tell you that. But for God’s sake, you’ve got to cut your portion size.”
She was right. That’s really all I did. The fear of another heart attack is a stong motivator, and the weight just came off.
I still slip back into old habits, fairly frequently. Need to work on that. And it’s harder now that the memories of the heart attack have faded after almost 13 years.
Appreciate this post, Jeff. Thanks for the kick in the pants to get back on the wagon.
Jay, I remember very well the life changes you initiated after your heart attack. Those were scary times. At that point in my life I was walking a crazy amount of miles each week and thought I was doing the right things. I wasn’t. Time has a way of helping you learn the lessons you don’t internalize when they are first taught. I wasn’t ready. I’m ready now. I’m lucky to have a partner who is as committed to the success as I am. I know you have the same kind of partner. Keep up the good fight, my friend.