A Masterclass In Humaneering – Andy Chaleff

Without knowing it, Andy Chaleff is delivering a masterclass in humaneering. His recent post, Trans, Actually, is Andy at his very best. Of course, he was simply being Andy and sharing, as he calls them, “small moments that make life extraordinary.”

I’m not even sure he’s aware of how I’m using the word, humaneering. He and I have not had a chance to talk about that yet, though I’m hoping we will soon. So I’m quite certain it didn’t cross his mind as he shared another human moment with his readers.

Andy is a close friend of my wife, Rocky. They went to high school together and talk regularly. He is also someone I wish to know better, and an exceptional writer. He paints stories on a page like an artist. His words are so thoughtful that they often bring me to the brink of tears. And they always make me think.

That was certainly the case with the story of his interaction with Tiffany, his guide for the day in Tokyo. It’s the story of “three people walking through Japan. Having a beautiful time. Listening. Laughing. Eating. Being present.”

Being present. Unmediated. Embodied. Please take a moment to read the full post. You will not regret it.

Andy’s Masterclass In Humaneering

Andy is basically making the same case I’ve been circling, just told as a story rather than presented as a framework. His argument is simple: authentic relationships change the nervous system, and the culture war thrives because it replaces proximity with abstraction.

His story is a wonderful example of what an embodied experience should look like. But his conclusion really struck me. He wrote,

And I feel sadness when I watch how quickly polarization turns fringe ideas into mainstream identity, simply because outrage pays. I feel sadness that we’re being trained to react to strangers we’ve never met, instead of being curious about the human standing in front of us.

That day with Tiffany didn’t make me “more correct.” It made me more connected.

More Connected, Less Alone

This is what is missing. Sherry Turkle has written and spoken extensively about this since the release of her book, Alone Together. “We expect more from technology and less from each other,” Turkle wrote. “We create technology to provide the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship.”

And she has a new book coming out in September, titled “Artificial Intimacy: Who We Become When We Talk to Machines.” I’ve pre-ordered it already. Because artificial intimacy is the AI we really should be concerned about. And it’s why humaneering matters more now than ever.

Andy’s simple story captures the essence of what I’m trying to convey with humaneering.

I’ve redefined humaneering in 2026. “The deliberate craft of creating accountable, embodied, emotionally grounded human experiences in a world where AI can mimic connection without any responsibility.”

The AI mimicry is already exceptional. This is why AI will own mediated spaces. And why we need to own the unmediated spaces. But first, we’ll need to recognize them again. Cultivate them again.

We need to want messy, unmediated, embodied experiences more than we want the easy hit of dopamine that social media, and now AI companions, can provide.

Thank you, Andy. You’re so right.

We don’t change through better arguments, we change through better contact.

And humaneering is about protecting nervous-system-level connections and authentic relationships in a marketplace that profits from engineered influence.

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